Angie R. Cox

wife | mom | church planter | social worker | blogger

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Lessons learned in the Bathroom

March 17, 2011 By Angie 3 Comments

Our California BathroomA few weeks ago I had the amazing privilidge to share part of my story with Pastor’s wives at the Radicalis conference at Saddleback Church. Here is a portion of what I shared:

Change is inevitable. It’s going to happen. If we’re alive and breathing on this planet than we know we will experience change in some shape and fashion. Why does God bring change into our lives? I believe he brings about change to grow us, to draw us closer to Him, to bring Him glory. However, while change is unavoidable, spiritual growth through change is a choice.

When we moved from our home in Arkansas to Southern California, my sweet family experienced a heavy dose of change. I struggled. I frequently found myself in tears, or angry and frustrated. When these feelings would come-I had to retreat. One of the problems in living in a small condo with no yard (with a newborn baby) is there isn’t anywhere to go. So I found myself getting as far away as possible in my little home – on the bathroom floor. Just me… sitting there, facing our 1970’s model toilet with it’s mahogany seat.  Just me and the Father and all of my feelings of fear, sadness, and entitlement.

While I was struggling with the questions of “why are we here?” and “what’s my role?”, God very clearly began to teach me three big lessons. It was critical that I began to move through this change, to grow through this change and eventually get up off the bathroom floor. Here’s what I learned:

Trust Me

God wanted me to trust Him. I had put all of my “trust” in my husband. I would say to myself, “he’s God’s man” and “I trust Him to know God’s will for our lives.” But I was really not trusting anyone. When things got tough or didn’t work out the way I had planned, I had someone to blame. I could point the finger at my husband and say “I trusted you,” which wasn’t God’s plan. He desired for me to trust Him. He could handle my questions and fears.  He could reassure me the way only a loving Father could with His peace. Psalm 9:10 say’s, “Those who know your name will trust in you. For you Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

Watch Me

In change, we worry about “what’s next?” We worry about finances, relationships, and health. I would often say to my husband, “How is this going to work?” I couldn’t see the answers, and he had no answers. And the whole time I’m looking for answers, God is saying “Watch me.” Ephesians 3:20 says, “God can do anything you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, His spirit deeply and gently within us.”

Know Me

During the initial stages of this transition, much of my old identity was stripped away: the friends that occupied my time; the responsibilities I had in our previous church; and a full-time job in a professional career. God was removing all the “noise” from my life so that I would see him and know him. He was pursuing me with His love. “Be still and know that I am God”. (Psalms 46:10)

So…what is God teaching you through change? I’d really love to know!

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Women's Ministry Tagged With: bathroom, Change, God, Saddleback Church

Pass It On

January 18, 2011 By Angie Leave a Comment

DucksThis year we have jumped feet first into the adventure of homeschooling. Many factors influenced our decision to home school Ella, but the culmination of having a new baby brother, moving to California and journeying into a whole new church life was all the change we felt Ella Grace needed. So here we are. I must admit, it’s not easy. We kind of “honeymooned” so to speak the first few weeks, then we hit a wall. We’ve had “impatient mommy” days, “whiny Ella” days, and “needy Sam” days. Were pushing through and despite all our various emotions and needs…I think she’s learning something. Of course I know she’s learning multiplication, nouns/verbs/pronouns, American history, photosynthesis, ect. But there are some things Ella is learning that I didn’t include in my lesson plans…

  • She’s learning how to be a mom. Sam provides constant distractions and interruptions; however, Ella has the privilege of watching me nurture and take care of him. She gets to take part in his care and their bond is stronger because of it.
  • She’s learning that her mom is very flawed. She’s seeing sides of me that I’m not sure she’s seen before. Trying to explain math brings out my “ugliness”. She’s seeing me struggle with my sin. However, she’s also seeing me demonstrate a repentant heart. She’s learning that while my flesh is weak, my Creator is not and we can go to Him with our flaws, and He is faithful to work in our hearts.
  • She’s learning to embrace the moment. One of the blessings of homeschooling is the benefit of a flexible schedule. We enjoy many cuddle breaks, tickle fests and outdoor adventures.
  • Finally, she’s learning about her Lord. Our Ella is a sponge. She soaks up what she learns and asks questions. We consistently have to call Daddy to get answers to some of her questions. She’s developing a craving for His word and getting to dive into together is worth every other “not so great” moment.

I just love how we have our “plans”, and God is able to teach us more than we could ask or imagine. Of course you don’t have to be homeschooling your children to get it right.

What are you passing on to your children?

Filed Under: Faith, Family Tagged With: Family, Homeschooling, lessons

Wife in Ministry

January 9, 2011 By Angie 2 Comments

Welcome to the wife in ministry blog. The purpose of this blog is to share insights from my life as a pastor’s wife and to provide encouragement to and connect with other wives in ministry. My  husband and I have been in ministry for the last 14 years.  Until recently, Brandon served as lead pastor at churches in both Kentucky and Arkansas.  This past July, we made the big decision to follow God’s leading to join the staff at Saddleback Church in Orange County California.

Through the years, I have been privileged to meet many other women involved in ministry. I love women and the unique gifts and talents they bring to ministry. The realities of being a woman involved in ministry is that it’s not always a “bed of roses”. We have many roles to fill including wife, mom, professional, grandmother, teacher, leader…the list is endless. Juggling these different roles can be a daunting task. My prayer is that through these writings you may see a piece of yourself, read truth’s from God’s Word and be encouraged.

I would love to hear from you. Please leave comments sharing your own insights and words of encouragement. If I’ve learned anything during the last 14 years it’s that being a wife in ministry is always an adventure and I don’t like to travel alone so I’m thrilled to be taking this journey with you!

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Women's Ministry

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Northwest Arkansas Christian Counseling

My greatest desire as a therapist is to give you the space to tell your story, help you identify your struggles, and then move forward toward healing.

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I'm Angie Cox. I'm saved by grace, co-founder and Ministries Director at Grace Hills Church, a Pastor's wife and Mom of three. And I'm also a social worker (LCSW). Read More…

Recent Posts

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